Healing Spirals

1/26/2025

Surviving the trump administration, A Daily Thread. Episode 5: Healing Spirals

Personal healing is integral to the larger picture of collective healing. There’s a ripple effect that happens when individuals heal. My first therapist told me “hurt people hurt people,” which simply means that when we’re wounded and unaware of the ways we’re wounded, we unknowingly inflict pain on others. So when we begin to heal, we can stop passing that pain along.

I’ve been going to therapy for about 11 years now, and in today’s session I was reminded of a feeling I had years ago. I remember walking into my therapist’s office in those early years and desperately wanting to unlock whatever was inside me that was making me feel stuck and miserable. But there was a blanket of shame or some kind of emotional brick wall in front of me, preventing me from accessing whatever emotions were deeper inside. Through years of hard work, I came to understand that this blanket or wall was trying to protect me from the pain of FEELING, and to prevent any consequences that might arise from trying to express those “negative feelings.” Learning to feel and express has been profoundly liberating, and it’s an ongoing process of tender growth.

But in today’s session, I felt mostly numb. And you know what? That actually seems like a perfectly appropriate response to the monumental task of trying to metabolize all the hate our government is trying to spoon feed us, and all the very real fear of the trans people, immigrants, and other marginalized populations that the administration is targeting. To try to navigate my own inner landscape today, with the added emotional energy of a country in crisis, was overwhelming to my nervous system, as if I was starting over at the beginning.

But I’m not starting over. I’ve done 11 years of work, and healing happens in spirals. We encounter similar problems, but with new awareness each time. We dig in and go deeper. We persist.

#survivingthetrumpadministration #fightfascism #notmypresident #standupspeakout #strongertogether