Cleaning Party

3/4/2025

Writing to survive the trump administration. Episode 41: Cleaning Party

I live in a house with two boys and one bathroom, and this has been an evolving “issue” for me. I grew up as an only child in houses where I always had my own bathroom (!!) and didn’t realize what a privilege that was until 11 years ago when I moved into my current house with my partner Tommy and his then-8-year-old son Brice.

Boys are messy! I mean, I guess probably not all boys are messy, and girls can be messy too. But MY boys are messy, ok? They make the bathroom gross!! And it doesn’t seem to bother them! We’ve tried to solve this problem in different ways over the years. For a while at first, I just cleaned it myself, cursing them under my breath the whole time. Then for a short time, we gave the job to Brice as his chore, in exchange for his allowance. We even went through a period of hiring cleaners to come in and take care of it for us!

When Brice moved in full time a year and a half ago, I had the idea to help him save money – a matching scenario where he works and puts money into savings, and we match his monthly amount. But in order to do that, we needed to actually have the extra monthly income to be able to match with him. So, we gave up our cleaning service to save money and – for the first time – made cleaning the kitchen and bathroom a FAMILY EVENT!!

I don’t know why this has felt so revolutionary, but it is really, really working for us in a way that feels nearly magical to me. Tommy cleans the kitchen while Brice and I tackle the bathroom, and then we all pitch in to finish up any loose ends that are needed. We recently started rotating a playlist too, so every time we clean, a different one of us chooses the music. We laugh and complain about whatever gross thing we’re scrubbing. We catch up with each other about what’s going on in our lives. I’ve never had so much fun cleaning before.

This feels so weird to say, after so many years of resenting not having my own bathroom… but I’m actually grateful for the growth it has afforded me, and this recent discovery of unexpected connection over an otherwise loathsome task.