Gratitude

2/24/2025

Surviving the trump administration, A Daily Thread. Episode 33: Gratitude

When gratitude lists were first presented to me as a way to shift my perspective and invite more healing, joy, and acceptance into my life – or especially, to let go of resentment, it seemed like the WORST IDEA EVER. Particularly in relation to things I have developed resentment about, why the hell would I want to brainstorm why I’m GRATEFUL? I’m NOT. Duh. That’s the whole point of resentment.

Gratitude lists are a big part of 12-step programs, which is where I was first introduced to the idea – and they have been suggested to me by various therapists over the years as well. Somewhere along the way, I decided to give it a shot, and – I don’t know, maybe five years ago? I began a practice of ending each day by coming up with three things I’m grateful for, before I go to sleep.

I’m not going to say this has been a magic bullet to happiness. But I think I have come around to believing that it does help. It’s not easy, especially when I’m trying to come up with gratitude in relation to resentment. And for the love of God, I’m NOT talking about trying to deny reality and pretend like everything is wonderful when it’s not.

(Side note: denying reality aka not reading the room aka spiritual bypassing aka toxic positivity is a main reason I left a yoga studio I used to go to. It was early in the pandemic, shortly after those cops murdered George Floyd, and the yoga studio was having a community gathering on Zoom. Without giving anyone any space to process the anxiety of isolation and rage of racism and police brutality, the yoga instructor asked us to go around the Zoom room and say something we were grateful for. This kind of avoidance is more than unhelpful – it’s actually harmful. So that’s NOT what I’m talking about.)

Rather, doing the nuanced and often contradictory work of speaking up, fighting back, acknowledging the full spectrum of emotions in ourselves and others AND THEN making the mindful choice to remember a few things we’re grateful for, can help shift the needle towards grounded wholeness.

If it’s not already part of your practice, I invite you to acknowledge all the things that are ALSO true for you – and then try to list a few things you’re grateful for too.