Judgment is the enemy of curiosity.

3/6/2025

Writing to survive the trump administration. Episode 43: Judgment is the enemy of curiosity.

Here’s a theme that has been coming up a lot for me lately: JUDGMENT. I believe we are all trained in hierarchical, put-things-into-boxes-so-that-we-can-organize-our-worldview-and-know-where-we-fit-in, aka JUDGMENTAL thinking. It’s one of the tenets of white supremacist Christian patriarchal capitalism.

For example, some stereotypes that are incorrect (harmful, toxic) judgments: men are stronger than women. (How do you define “strength”? Mental, emotional, spiritual, physical? ALL men vs. ALL women? Really?) Elders are wiser than youth. (How do you define wisdom? By simple length of lived experience? Do you believe there is any value in looking at the world as if it were unfamiliar and new, the way children do? Is there anything children/youth can teach elders IN ADDITION to the life experience elders can bring to youth?) Women are too emotional. (Have you SEEN the way trump handles his anger whenever someone asks him a question he doesn’t like?) People who work in the service industry are less competent / not as smart / not as VALUABLE as people who work in offices. (Why, then, were service workers the only ones who didn’t get to take any time off when we were being ravaged by the pandemic? Is it fair to think of service workers this way, and still rely on them for so many of our essential needs? What does that say about us, if we’re among the people who hold this belief?)

These examples may not resonate with everyone, but I guarantee that each of us holds a plethora of judgments about other people (and ourselves!) that are untrue and often harmful, that we hold simply because these beliefs were passed down to us, and we’re often not even aware we hold them.

So, whenever I catch myself running a narrative in my head about what is “true” or “right,” especially if it contradicts what someone close to me is saying or doing, it’s helpful (and often really, really challenging) to ask myself: is THEIR point of view or way of doing things hurting anyone? Is MY point of view or way of doing things hurting anyone? If the answer to either of these is YES, then it’s time for some kind of activism or emotional growth or deep rooted change. If the answer is NO, NO ONE IS BEING HURT BY THESE CONTRASTING VIEWS, then, is it possible to expand my thinking to include MORE than just what I previously believed to be true? This will almost always lead to more connection, more compassion, and more room for a fuller experience of humanity for both of us.

Curiosity is a path beyond judgment and a key to expansion and deeper connection.